New Journal
By: Scott Cram
Photos provided by: Scott Cram

God's grace and mercy have brought you through. Quit acting as if you made it on your own.
•  T. D. Jakes

Ever since breaking my arm at the St. Louis supercross my life has been uneventful to say the least. I've have a whole lot of nothing going on, which has given me much needed time to let my life quite down and reflect on my whole life and more specifically the last ten years.

First off God has shown me just how much of a driving force he has been in every aspect of my life. I am at the point now where I realized that God has been the one doing all the work in my life and I've just been a passenger in the car. I use to think that I had an active role in “making things happen” in my life, but I now see just how much I've stumbled into just about everything that has happened in my life and just how much has fallen in my lap. I've seen that God has been the engineer behind my circumstances and opportunities guiding every step.

Over the last 6-8 months the subject lines at the services I have attended at Saddleback church have been: “When You Feel Like Giving Up”, “Passport to Freedom”, “When Conflicts are a Road Block”, “Choosing What Matters the Most”, “Lightening Your Load”, “When The Game Is Over It All Goes Back In The Box” and “What God Commands Us to Remember about the Past”. In this journal I have more to say about what God has been telling me then anything that has been going on in my life.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
James 1:2-3

The realizations however, have not come with comfort or without worry and stress. After my injury it seems the wind in my sails have ceased and nothing and I mean nothing has been moving. I haven't made any money, it seems as if I can't sell anything, or find a job that fits my needs. I have, however, been waiting on a business deal to go through which would come close to catching me back up to speed financially if they would finalize.

I have to say that it is really easy to believe in God when everything is on the up and up, but when it seems the walls are crumbling down and the enemy is at the gate it's a different story. I've really found out how deep my faith is. The First reaction while in a tough situation that you see no way out of is to panic and start to squirm, second reaction is to start running, and the final and third reaction is to finally put it in God's hands to let Him handle it.

The best church services are the ones where I've shown up and the pastor is talking about the exact thing I need to hear. Common sense would tell me to go out, get a job, and give up on what I've worked so hard for the last 8 years. All worldly signs point to the ride is over and I have arrived at the end of the road and to get on with the rest of my life. But then I go to Saddleback Church and the message titled “Passport to Freedom” is about how God wants to fight for you, don't give up, help is on its way.

They had a guest speaker for that weekends services and one of analogies he used about tough situations is the procedure of what to do while on a mission trip where they have Anaconda snakes living in the area. If I saw one of those things my first reaction would be to 1. Panic 2. Run 3. Pray to God for some kind of help. The following is what I remember of the official procedure. First don't run, second lay down with your chin tucked into your chest, and third stay calm, don't panic, lay absolutely still and quit. I was thinking what, you have to be kidding me!?!

The reason for this is that there is no chance of a human out running an anaconda. If you lay there like you are dead the snake will climb over you to make sure you are dead and then proceed to eat your from your feet up, if you don't move. While listening to this message I am think to myself “this situation sounds very familiar!” So, the way to get away from an anaconda is to do this: After laying there while a huge snake climbs over you, staying quite and calm, and then letting the snake put you in its mouth and start to consume you from the feet up, at the right moment when the snake is at about your knees, in one quick movement you grab your knife and cut off it's head. My jaw was at the floor and I thought to myself “are you serious!?” That's the only way to get away from an anaconda?!? The last thing he said about the procedure in a joking voice was “don't forget your knife!”

In that same service the guest speaker talked about how God wants to fight for you. How there might be situations or things in your life that seem to be over your head, out of your league, and way too much for you to do in your own power to overcome. That was exactly what I needed to hear! Currently I am facing an Anaconda in my life financially. I could think that it could just be a coincidence that they happened to have that message that weekend, but the thing is the guest speaker, Jud Wilhite from a Las Vegas church, stopped in the middle and pretty much said something that I felt was directed right at me, he said “Maybe there is an entrepreneur here today that has stepped out in faith and is waiting on something to happen that hasn't happened yet;” It was more specific then that, but I don't remember the exact words he used. It just felt that it was directed right at me. It has happened two other times since then as well. In another message Rick Warren said something like “If you are thinking about going to Iraq , you probably aren't making the right choice or thinking clearly.” Now, since I've been in what I've heard pastors call a desert, pit, or the wilderness for a while now, I started thinking of all kinds of ways to get out of my current situation. One thought being joining the military, coast guard, or something along those lines. Another time when I felt a message was directed at me was a time when, Rick stopped in the middle of his service and said:

“By the way if you think you are in the desert and everything is dying around you, know that God has to take you through the desert so you can learn what you are learning. You can't learn what you are learning anywhere else except in the desert where God is taking you through.”

I was totally blown away, and it gave me hope that everything is going to be all right and that God is still with me. I've heard this message a few times since I've been in what I am calling “The Pit”. Another time was on a podcast from of Joel Osteen's messages. It pretty much said the same thing, I can only learn what I need to learn while in the pit and I have to go through the pit to reach my palace! The messages talked about Joseph's story were his own brothers sold him into slavery. Eventually after being thrown in jail and other unfortunate events he ended up being put in charge of the food supply for all of Egypt and reuniting with the same brothers that sold him into slavery.

The way God first grabbed my attention and I knew he was real was that same exact experience. When I first started going to church in Southern California , it was to a church service called Crave at again Saddleback Church . Crave is the college aged ministry they have on Thursday nights at around 7. But the way God really got me was that I had a really specific questions, subjects, or thoughts on my mind and at every Thursday for about 2 months straight, the services would talk about exactly what I was thinking about. Sound crazy?!? Things like that are one of the reasons I know that God is 100% for real! I can argue with you about scripture, difference of opinion, or whatever else, but that is just one true fact about God, he has met me on my turf and apparently really does know every thought. I've read in the Bible that God has tailored made each day for us, specifically and intimately for each one of us.

I am not what I ought to be. I am not what I want to be. I am not what I hope to be. But still, I am not what I used to be. And by the grace of God, I am what I am.
•  John Newton

John Newton pretty much hit the nail on the head with that statement about my life. I still do things that don't exactly fall under holy. I've realized that God has high expectations for my life, but being perfect is impossible. One person's idea of perfection is another's definition of imperfection. My thoughts on life now are that God makes His mercies new every morning so that I can wake up and live my life without fear of mistake. Although it doesn't give me a pass to do whatever I want to do, I can wake up and give each day my best attempt at living a life without limits knowing that God's mercy and grace will make up for my short comings.

I've found this life to be “wide open” as in we are all on the same playing field. I learned the hard way that just because someone says they are Christian doesn't mean they are going to act like it. What is important to me now, is being the individual person God desires me to be. I feel like I had everything setup in my life to pretty much coast. I had a good low- key church service I would go to on Monday nights, I was making good money to support my life, and I was living my dream racing supercross. That life sounded good to me as a straight path for the rest of my life. Make money, ride, and go to a low-key church.

Instead, that low-key church changed to where I didn't feel it was the best place for me to be anymore. The guy I had been working for the last 7yrs had to be removed from his own company, and racing supercross seems to be a distant and hopeless dream as of right now with only a month left to get what I need to be able to race again.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
•  Philippians 4:12

John Ortberg, a Presbyterian pastor, came to Saddleback as a guest speaker with a message titled “When The Game Is Over It All Goes Back In The Box”. The title of the message is a reference John used to describe life is like the board game Monopoly. He said he use to get beat playing with his grandma all the time and how getting beat by her use to make him so mad. Later he said that he learned the game and learned it quite well. The whole object of the game is to conquer the board, own all the properties, have all the money, and get everybody else to pay you rent. In his message he revealed some truths that I had never thought about.

•  Hurry is the great enemy in our spiritual life today

•  Hurried is an inner condition of the soul

•  It is an illusion that “someday more is going to be enough”

•  Contentment is the realization that I have a God that loves and watches over me

•  “It could be worse” – be happy with what you have.

•  Bring the Kingdom to the Game

I grew up in the Presbyterian Church in my hometown in Kansas , so it was even more attention grabbing for me to see someone from a denominational church come to a non-denominational church like Saddleback to speak.  

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12

[Jesus said] 'I am the resurrection and the life ... Do you believe this?' This is a canyon question which makes sense only during an all-night vigil or in the stillness of smoke-filled waiting rooms. A question that makes sense when all of our props, crutches, and costumes are taken away. For then we must face ourselves as we really are: rudderless humans tailspinning toward disaster. And we are forced to see him for what he claims to be: our only hope.
•  Max Lucado

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
Ephesians 6:13

The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, peace of mind, or even your happiness. It's far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born BY His purpose and FOR His purpose.
•  Rick Warren

You are not an accident. Your birth was no mistake or mishap, and your life is no fluke of nature. Your parents may not have planned you, but God did. ... Long before you were conceived by your parents, you were conceived in the mind of God. He thought of you first. It is not fate, nor chance, nor luck, nor coincidence that you are breathing this very moment. You are alive because God wanted to create you!
•  Rick Warren

Lastly I want to end with lyrics from a song by Steven Curtis Chapman that really caught my attention. As or right now I don't have the money or situation to race supercross in 2008, but if God has taught me anything in the last 9 months, it's to trust Him and trust that He has a plan for my life.

Believe Me Now by Steven Curtis Chapman 

I watch you looking out across the raging water
So sure your only hope lies on the other side
You hear the enemy that's closing in around you
And I know that you don't have the strength to fight
But do you have the faith to stand and... 

Believe Me now
Believe Me here
Remember all the times I've told you loud and clear
I am with you and I am for you
So believe Me now
Believe Me now 

I am the One who waved my hand and split the ocean
I am the One who spoke the words and raised the dead
And I've loved you long before I set the world in motion
I know all the fears you're feeling now
But do you remember who I am?
Do you.. 

Believe Me now
Believe Me here
Remember all the times I've told you loud and clear
I am with you
And I am for you 

I am the God who never wastes a single hurt that you endure
My words are true, and all My promises are sure
So believe Me now
Oh, believe Me now 

Scott Cram
#457